Bookish To A Fault (1) - Confessions of a Bookaholic

Monday, April 28, 2014 10:20 PM


I'm so excited to introduce my new original feature Bookish to a Fault. Bookish to a Fault is basically where I confess my nonsensical and/or shameful reading habits and bookish behaviors. I hope these posts will act as a reality check because I'm often in denial when it comes to my ridiculous self.

Confessions of a Bookaholic 

For my first Bookish to a Fault, I chose a topic that I seriously need to address since it concerns my wallet. I just need to come out and say it: "Hi, my name is Courtney and I'm a bookaholic". I've admitted this to myself and to others many a time even though my admission has yet to solve anything. I frequently buy books when I still have tons of unread books waiting for me at home. It is an addiction. It's why I have to avoid bookstores like the plague because every time I go to a bookstore, I find myself searching for books to buy just because I can. Because I have that power! I see a book that has a nice cover or that I've been meaning to read for some time, and I'm a goner. From the outside, I may appear to be calmly holding a book in my hand, admiring the cover and contemplating its merits. But on the inside, my logical and irrational halves are engaged in all-out war.

My logical half is asking myself "Do I reallllllyyyyy need this when I have a million other books to read at home? And should I even be considering this ill-advised purchase when I should be saving up and paying off college loans so I'm not still in debt when I'm old and decrepit and have a million cats?" And my irrational side always answers....YES.


It's not that I need the book. No, I need oxygen and food to live, but I don't live on books. I don't need it; I just want it more than anything else at that exact moment. I forget about bills and clothes and sustenance as soon as a beautiful cover catches my eye. It's almost like I'm possessed every time I enter a bookstore. I leave the store with my purchase in hand, but I don't feel like it was me who bought the book(s). Oh no. Something inside of me took over and I really had no choice in the matter. Or at least that's what I'd like to believe...

I find myself thinking, "What if I want to read this book next week? It will be so convenient to just have it right there on my bookshelf." But does that ever happen? Do I ever buy books and immediately read them when I get home? No. There have been times when I cannot bear waiting even another second to read my new book. I will read books right away if they are new releases I have been dying to read, but this is a rare occurrence. Usually what happens is I forget I even bought the book until much later. I will be suffering from one of my bouts of indecisiveness, and I will come across that book I just had to buy weeks or months or even years ago, and then I may or may not read it then. Sometimes, I wonder what I was thinking when I bought it, and those moments leave me feeling guilt-ridden. Once again, I realize I have a problem, and it's not going anywhere as long as I'm in denial.

But it gets worse. I actually try to hide my book buying addiction from my family members. When I come home from a bookstore, I will try to sneak the books upstairs before my parents notice. That's how ashamed I feel! I know that I don't need any more books and that I should read my unread books before I buy more, but I just can't seem to help myself. I love knowing that I'm building up a little library, even though I hardly ever make a dent in my TBR pile.

When I step into a Barnes & Noble or any bookstore, I feel like I'm in a candy shop and all these tantalizing sweets have been set out to torture me. And I can't help thinking, "Courtney, you deserve this! It was a long week so why not treat yourself to some well-earned books? And while you're at it, why not throw in a bookmark?! You've already lost all of your dignity so why not?"


I try to justify my behavior by listing all of the valid reasons why I should buy books in excess:

  • What if we run low on paper and books become a rarity? It could happen...how clever of me to buy them ahead of time just in case.
  • Books could become extinct. I should save them from their eventual demise. Yeah, this sounds insane...
  • It's better that I'm addicted to buying books than buying cocaine. I picked the right addiction.
  • I'm supporting bookstores! Well, I didn't save Borders, but I can still help out Barnes & Noble and other local bookstores. And I have a B&N membership so why not?
  • They look nice on my bookshelves?
  • Many bookstores have cafes. I love hot tea and books. So, I should go to bookstores and buy both. It only makes sense. 
  • You can never have too many books! I think...
That wasn't the most convincing list. But what about you guys? Do you buy books when you still have ones that you haven't read yet? Do you frequent bookstores like I do?



11 comments:

  1. I'm actually ridiculously good about buying books because I only buy them if I know I'm going to re-read a novel, but the problem with me is that buying books just makes me happy and every time I'm feeling even remotely upset, I just buy them and it's a vicious cycle where I use money to make myself happy. Not good. I totally feel you about this addiction, Courtney, but it's totally better than cocaine and who says we don't need books to live, heh? ;)

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    1. Gahhhh I envy your self-control :P And I know exactly what you mean. Buying books always makes me feel better no matter how upset I was before. It's like medicine haha

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  2. I think your valid reasons for buying books list is spot on! lol They are 100% totally legit reasons so I don't think you should feel ashamed about being addicted to books. :) You do want a nice big library one day don't you? hehe ;)

    I don't buy a lot of books, maybe one a month tops, (even though I totally wish I did) because of two things. One, I am very poor. Two, I work at a library, and therefore have access to a crap loud of free books five days a week while I'm there.

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    1. I'm jealous that you work at a library and are surrounded by books five days a week! That's definitely an awesome job! and you're right. I do want a big library. Maybe not the size of the one in Beauty and the Beast though that would be nice...if only :D

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  3. I'm a minimalist so not usually but I hear ya. It's hard. They're so friendly and inviting.

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    1. And the covers are so pretty and the spines look so nice all lined up on the shelf! Gahhh haha

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  4. Yay! Glad to see your first post for this feature!
    ha I don't think you really avoid bookstores like the plague. It feels like most weekends when I text you what you've been up to, you tell me that you stopped at a Barnes & Noble lol.

    I don't go to bookstores nearly as often, but when I do get the chance to go to my local indie I almost always buy something just so I can support it. I don't think physical books are going anywhere any time soon, but I do think physical bookstores are in trouble.
    And, like you said, if you've got to have some addiction, this is way better than so many other ones...

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    1. haha okay maybe I don't avoid bookstores like the plague, but that is something I should do cause it never ends well. Though last weekend, I went to Barnes & Noble and only bought one book instead of my usual two. That's progress I guess :P And I'm happy to hear you're supporting local stores. I wish I knew of one but all I've been to is the Books 4 Less.

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  5. Yep. I totally have a buying addiction. That is why I only allow myself to go into used bookstores. We have a handful of Half Priced Bookstores in my city which is so awesome. They have wonderful clearance sections where books are marked at only $1 or $2. I buy books from there all the time...and then they just sit on my shelves because my Kindle is always overstocked with e-arcs and I usually have all the brand new releases checked out from my library so I never have time to read books I own. It's silly, but I just love seeing all those pretty books on my shelves. Great post!

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  6. Ah yes, tale as old as time for us book lovers. Good on you for not becoming a cocaine addict - you definitely deserve a book for that one! Heh. Seriously entertaining post, Courtney!! I've mostly broken free of this addiction because I'm so super cheap that I can't bring myself to pay bookstore prices, even though I enjoy frequenting bookstores myself. Of course, then I go online and just purchase books that way so that doesn't make me a whole lot better. I've seen other people make a rule that they won't allow themselves to buy a new book until they've read 2 or 3 of the unread books sitting on their shelves so it's a type of motivation and it's a way of getting your unread books total down. Seems like a good idea - now just to get myself to actually do it!

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  7. I think that many of us struggle with this. I will put myself on a book buying ban every once in awhile. It helps me concentrate on books that I already own and books that I have for review, but book bans are made to be broken.
    -Flirting with Fiction

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